A few simple words at 8 months in. A sweet little boy babbling on with just 5 clear words mixed in amongst different sounds. Then no words at all. We were told “Oh, this is common with big changes”, since we were set to move cross country in a couple months. We’d pack up our lives, settle into our new place, and you’d speak again – pick up talking like nothing had changed. But that wasn’t the case. Another year passes. No words. No babbling. Just lots of staring, laughing and smiles. A happy but silent little boy.
I knew you. I knew it was more than just a “big change”. You were different, special. I wanted answers. You deserved to have answers. I found a specialist that listened to my concerns, because mothers always know their children best. The psychologist watched you, evaluated you. You watched her. Then we got the answers that I always knew to be true: Level 2 Autism and nonverbal. The gravity of the situation hit, and I started to fear what your future would look like. The world could be cruel to people that are different, and I didn’t want the world to break you.
I knew you were strong and resilient. I was determined to support you through it all, even if it was just baby steps. I found the best therapists and programs for you, and I could see just how hard to were working to communicate. You loved to explore and picked up sign language quickly. Each day becoming more confident in your communication. Then, you discovered music. You lit up with songs and instruments and anything with a beat. Suddenly, on a random day of the week, you weren’t silent anymore.
Your sweet little voice
It finally echoes through
“I love you, mama.”