Do you think he’ll finish the six-pack, I ask my twin sister Marcy. Wouldn’t be the first time, she says. The cooler is chock full of cheap booze and Uncle Rudy hasn’t even started in on the hard stuff. The whole neighborhood smells of BBQ, but we’re out of hot dogs. Daddy ate the last one, without a bun since we’re out of them, too. Our baby sister Susie stands smack in the middle of the patio, crying. Her burger slipped through the ketchup and landed on her white sneaker. Grandma picks up the burger and slips it back into its bun. Five second rule, she says, looking at Mamma. Mamma shrugs, sips her wine. It’s Grandma’s birthday, so we all have to pretend we’re having fun.
Grandma picks up Susie, puts her on her lap. Mamma sips her wine, plops another ice cube into the glass. You didn’t fix the pool pump, she says. Daddy ignores her. The pool guy hasn’t been here since Daddy got laid off. The water is algae green. Uncle Rudy swirls his hairy feet around in the murk. He’s on his fourth beer. Our cousin Leslie sulks right next to him as usual. She keeps fiddling with the Juicy purse Grandma got her last Christmas. Uncle Rudy snaps at her. Christ, girl, can’t you leave me be for five seconds! Go find something else to do.
Cousin Leslie heads our way, new boobs flopping around under her crop top. No tweens allowed, Marcy says, holding up her hand like a traffic cop. She likes to pull rank since we’re older, even though Leslie’s boobs outrank ours. Nice shirt Cuz, Marcy says. Leslie sticks out her tongue but leaves us alone. Someone needs to get that girl a bra, Marcy says. Be nice you two, Grandma snarls. She plops Baby Susie on the warm bricks next to us. Watch her for a second while I go pee. Once Grandma’s inside, Marcy says, I would’ve left them, too.
Uncle Rudy opens a fifth beer. Daddy brings him a burger. Eat something. It’s Mom’s birthday, for chrissakes. The burger slips off Rudy’s plate. Five second rule, Daddy says, smashing the burger into Rudy’s shirt. Daddy tells Mamma, Drink some water. He takes her glass, tosses her wine onto the Prickly Pear. A lizard skuttles along the patio edge. The neighbor’s sprinklers go off. Uncle Rudy chucks his empty into their yard.
Cousin Leslie’s crying over by the broken pool pump. She thinks she’s hiding, but I can see her. I wave, being nice like Grandma said. Leslie gives me the finger, pulls something from her purse. Her mean boobs jiggle as she walks towards us. She’s holding Uncle Rudy’s lighter and a handful of bottle rockets. She touches the lighter to the fuses. DON’T, I yell. What the fuck? Marcy says. I reach for Baby Susie, but I’m too slow. Leslie throws the bottle rockets smack in the middle of the patio. FIVE SECOND RULE, she screams.
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