Emma Alexis Woodard is occasionally the name of our poet. She has a lot to say, but no idea how to say it, so it comes out in various shades of anger and sadness in prose. She's 31, a west coaster, and a double Aquarius. Emma Woodard doesn't have a favorite or least favorite thing about herself. She's a big proponent of eating your waffles slightly burnt with creamy peanut butter. There are not many impressions she does well, but she does do a startlingly astute impression of a 30-something with their life together. Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Fluoxitine.