I can’t be your hot goth girlfriend

tv static and sweat at midnight
spoiled blueberry wine on your lips
and cigarette ash in your bedsheets
you want me asleep,
you want me quiet,
you want me willing
a baby swaddled in acoustic foam
new mother is not needed
closet buried in dirty laundry
you want me doting,
you want me adorned,
you want me filthy
purple string lights over broken futon
enough of a woman to sleep on your couch
i follow, cracking concrete, with you
you want me high,		
you want me useful,
you want me open

in the morning
i couldn’t rouse you
but you want me awake,
you want me loud,
you want me ready
call me your esteemed guest,
your fellow virtual farmer,
a high school grad
without a driver’s license
you want me smoking,
you want me crashing

so, if it makes you 
feel better,
pretend i’m asleep,
quiet, and willing;
pretend i’m doting,
adorn me, make me filthy;
get me high, show my utility,
i opened for you.
loud and ready,
i crashed 
in a cloud of smoke.