“You’ve got it all wrong,” said Herbert.
He and his co-worker Robert were in their late-twenties and had worked together for two years. They had just sat down to lunch at a table in the Sakura Gardens Restaurant that was two blocks from their office.
“You let your imagination control you,” Herbert continued, “instead of being in touch with reality. I learned the secret of life that always works. I say to myself, ‘it is what it is.’”
Their favorite waitress brought them their customary carafe of Saki. Herbert poured each a cup.
“That’s how you solve your problems?” asked Robert. “What does it even mean?”
Herbert smiled pointing to his head and said, “It’s the start of all wisdom. Tell me about any problem you have and I’ll tell you how this saying cures it.”
“Haven’t you noticed I look a bit dragged out?”
“I didn’t think you’d want me to mention it.”
Robert held up his cup, looked at it and twirled it a few times. He said, “My wife doesn’t love me anymore.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Like shit. I want her to love me.”
“It’s your imagination that’s making your life difficult, not your so-called fact, which might not even be a fact. Maybe she does love you.”
Both men threw back their Saki. Herbert poured them another.
“Nope,” said Robert. “She changed the locks. No misunderstanding there. Spent the night at a hotel.”
“The start of knowledge is to acknowledge that, ‘it is what it is.’”
“What a dumb idea,” said Robert frowning. “We can’t just accept whatever happens to us.”
“You have it wrong,” said Herbert. “We can always say ‘it is what it is.’ and then start acting on this truth.”
“You’re contradicting yourself.”
The waitress brought another carafe of Saki. They both ordered miso soup. Herbert ordered salmon sushi and Robert rainbow sushi.
“I embody the saying it is what it is,” said Herbert.
“You say it is what it is but you don’t approve of me disagreeing with that statement,” said Robert. “You’re trying to force me to change my point of view to yours.”
“I can accept that you don’t agree. It is what it is.”
“So you’re not saying I’m making a mistake?” asked Robert.
Their soups arrived and they began to eat. They poured themselves another Saki.
“It is what it is,” said Herbert.
Robert shook his head, “You said that already.”
“I did. I don’t think you understand. Your thoughts are your thoughts.”
“How does that apply to the fact my wife locked me out and I don’t like it.”
“Your wife’s feelings are fine and you need to accept that. It is what it is.”
“And I suppose you’d say that my reaction to her throwing me out is also, it is what it is.”
“Yes.” said Herbert. “You have to start with that.”
Their food arrived. They ordered a third carafe of Saki.
“You seem to be saying nothing,” said Robert. “What if I say that your philosophy is nuts?”
They put pickled ginger on their sushi and then dunked the pieces in the wasabi. The third carafe came. They ate and drank in silence.
Holding up his last piece of sushi, Herbert said, “It is what it is,” in a whisper.
“And this Saki?” asked Robert.
“It is what it is,” said Herbert at full voice and this time with a huge smile on his face.
“I finally get it,” said Robert, who for the first time smiled. “In the expression it is what it is, the word it occurs twice and the word is occurs twice. Those two words it are exactly the same.”
“Has the Saki gone to your head?” asked Herbert.
“I don’t think so.”
“You’re confused,” said Herbert. “It is what it is should be said as, it is with a pause what another pause and it is. Got it?”
“I think so”.
They were silent for a while.
Robert held up his cup of Saki and said, “It … it … is … is.”
Herbert put his cup of Saki down and said “No. It is … what … it is.”
“How are we going to do any work this afternoon? asked Herbert. They both laughed.
“We will,” was all Robert could say.
At the end of the day, Herbert asked Robert if he had anywhere to stay for the night. He didn’t. Herbert offered his spare room. He noticed that his wife rolled her eyes when she saw Robert.
“It is what it is,” he whispered to her. He noticed that she was shaking her head. There was little discussion at dinner or as they watched TV.
The next morning, as the two drove together to the train station, Robert said, “You know you’re right and I was wrong. My feelings don’t change reality. It is what it is.”
“Let’s just forget I ever said that,” said Herbert.
“Why?”
“My wife told me that if I invite you back tonight, she’s going to change the locks.”
“How does that make you feel?” asked Robert
“Worse than shit.”
“It is what it is,” said Robert. “I finally get it.”
“Its just a ridiculous saying,” said Herbert
“No,” said Robert. “It is … what … it is.”
They were silent during the rest of the ride in.