The friends meet at their favorite café, Soups on Café. The women face each other, mirror images. Long dark hair and hazy blue eyes, with deep shadows beneath them. “Good day, how have you been?” the first woman asks the other. Brushing strands of her hair from her face the other sighs. The hazy sun sparkles across her watch and golden ring, causing little bursts of sunbeams to burst across the table.
The coffee shop is unusually quiet for the midday, but the friends barely notice. Lost in their own little world, they begin their conversation. The first woman fidgets with her cup of coffee, twirling it around her fingers, “It’s good to see you, Tessa.” “It has been awhile since we have been together, Li. Too long.”
Nodding Li continues to twirl her cup, looking out the dusty window. Oddly, the street beyond is void of traffic, the sidewalk is empty of people also. The sun glints off the pavement. Li returns her focus to Tessa’s mechanical tone, saying something but Li had not heard her. “I am sorry I didn’t hear you, Tessa.” Covering Li’s hand, “Stop fidgeting! You are okay. I am with you as always. You can tell me anything. You can vent, cry, yell or sit with me.”
Li squeezes the calming hand, “Thank you, my friend.” They were alone except a lone waitress, waiting in the shadows for them to call her over. She paces around the small café, watching them.
Throughout the years Tessa became Li’s strength, the only one could count on. “She has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember,” Li thinks. She counted on Tessa’s friendship but she also feared her strength and control. “I know what you are thinking Li, don’t fear your thoughts or feelings.” She sips her water, “Don’t fear your friendships, relationships and love.” A violent shiver runs through Li, she pulls her hand away, rubbing the coldness away. “I am not afraid. I fear no one or anything.” She shrugs, “Why should I?”
“You do fear, Li. You fear your memories and so much more,” Tessa taunts. Ignoring her friend’s taunts Li waves the waitress over to them. The waitress hurries over to them, “Good afternoon, how can I help you?” Li replies, “I would like a buffalo chicken wrap with French fries. My friend would like a grilled chicken salad.” “Will that be all?” the waitress asks while jotting their order down. “Yes, Thank you.” The waitress leaves the duo alone in deep conversation, hurrying to place their order.
The duo mirrors each other’s movements, leaning against the hard-cool wall and tracing the edge of their water glasses. “I know you have something on your mind, my friend,” Tessa whispers. The deafening ticking of the nearby clock echoes through the empty café. The sound jars Li: a taunting murmur, “You are not here. You are somewhere else….”
Closing her eyes, she tries to block out the mocking sound; Li’s doubts become a hum. “I am here inside Soups on Café with my friend;” she sighs. “How did we become friends? When did it begin?” she wonders. “We have always been friends; our friendship started a long time ago. You don’t remember?” Running her temples Li sits straighter in her chair, the sun shimmers against her crystal necklace. Causing small rainbows to dance across the table. “It’s too bright in here,” Li pulls the shade closed. “I could have pulled the shade closed for you, if you had asked,” Tessa replies. “I know,” a cold shiver of fear runs up Li’s spine.
“Why am I frightened? Why should I be afraid of Tessa?” Li rubs her shoulders, “She’s been my advocate, my strength and my warrior for so long.” Tessa moves closer, filling the space between them with her demanding presence. “Are you alright? Do you want to end our visit?” Li shakes her head, “No… of course not.” Taking ahold of Tessa’s hand, “Why did we become friends?”
Laughing Tessa replies, “Because we needed each other. I am not sure.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Because we liked each other, I guess. Why do we think we became friends?” Li looks around the small room, searching for the waitress, “where is our order?” “Don’t worry about our order for now.” Tessa taps her long fingernails on the table, “Why do you think we became friends, Li?”
Shuffling her silverware and cup around the table, Li does not respond. She thinks about Tessa’s question before answering. “I needed you when I was younger, you helped me. You helped me hide away from the lingering monsters. I guess that is how and why we became friends.” A shark-teeth filled smile forms across Tessa’s mouth, “Yes, I did. Didn’t I?”
Ashamed Li looks away from the creepy smile, “Yes you did. You taught me to hide from everyone!” Cold vomit rises from her belly, climbing up into her throat, she swallows hard. “Why am I feeling this way?” fear lace her thoughts. “I am happy to be with Tessa, am I not?” she wonders. “You fear me because you don’t understand me,” Tessa clasps her hand on Li’s. “You still don’t understand why our friendship has lasted.”
The sun begins to lower, and the café darkens. The heartbreaking silence covers them like a blanket. “Our visit is coming to an end,” Li blinks. The waitress had not returned with their order, she had disappeared into the shadows. “Where has the pretty waitress gone?” Li wonders. Tessa places her forefinger against her ruby lips, “No need to think about her, don’t ask for her again. She will interrupt our visit and that won’t be good.”
Suddenly Li and Tessa are sitting in a white corner, nothing but whiteness and a single light bulb surrounds them. Li is sitting against the soft white walls, with her arms wrapped around her thin legs. “Where are we Tessa? I am afraid….” Tessa soothes Li, “You are safe. I am here with you.” She squeezes her friend’s hand, “You are safe with me as always. I am your security blanket, I am your friend, your sister, your family.” “I am your soulmate, I am your everything,” Tessa giggles. Inside the locked white room Li sits, inside her a panic silence, she listens to her friend. While others watch them through the only window, a small dusty window, with a single flashlight peering through the door window.
“Our bond is everything. It will never break, Li. I will always be here for you.” Li shakes her head, “I don’t know.” “I am your rope to hang onto and to hang from. I am your friendship to grow in and your anguish to die in,” Tessa’s wicked laugher teases. Rocking back and forth Li whimpers, “What are you talking about? Who are you?” “Oh dear, Li, don’t you understand?” Li rips at her hair, “No! I don’t understand, please help me.” Cruel laughter fills her ears, “I am your mental illness, we will never be apart, my dear.” Li begins to whimper. Outside the small white room, the pretty girl has been observing the young woman. The young woman has been having a conversation with herself. A Meeting with her mental illness, her only friend……