The day begins in darkness
Cold rain unseen as branches crack and fall
Lit by lightning
Grief arrives suddenly when my eyelids open to the harsh alarm clock’s sound
Heartache needs no wake-up call. It rarely sleeps through the night.
A task. An errand. Some movement calls me
Happily, I do the grocery shopping
Contentedly, I breathe in the smell of laundry soap
I hum along to the vacuum cleaner for a few minutes…
and then what? Now what?
How do I fill up my mind? This void in my life?
The grief comes rushing back in as the river’s floodgates open after the overnight storm
The void cannot remain. My love is gone.
He is no longer smiling back at me
Except from the photo on the shelf
He isn’t in the kitchen making chicken enchiladas
Except in the stories of our friends
The man I loved can’t wipe away my tears or hold me when I tremble with grief
I wrap myself in his old sweatshirt and let the tears fall
And wonder again how to fill this void