It wasn’t obvious
Didn’t slip away suddenly
Gradually, in tiny motions
Myself and I parted ways
It wasn’t personal
I had to protect
The little girl
Who was violated
Humans-
Resilient that way
I leapt to the stage
Alive in shiny lights
Separate, in distance
Connected, in spirit
A mover of grace
My body my own again
Taken back from the abuser
Who stole it
Before I even had a chance
To own it
Both parts
Pained and free
Merged into a magnetic force of
“I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”
Dancing days
Came to a slow end
With entry into adulthood
Where a stage was harder to find
Slowly
Imperceptibly
I descended into
Dark escapes
From feelings
Too spikey to hold
The foundation
Of my tender, sweet spirit
Wore away
Brick by brick
Opening gaps for
Disconnection
To leak in
Until one day, after hundreds of days
Sprawled out on the floor
Drowning in self-pity
I could see the little girl again, waving
Pollution clearing
The disassociation
Folded back into itself
One whole me
Tonight
I hold the little girl
No longer in grandiose
Drunken proclamations
Or in songs and dances
Conceived high
I hold her in my arms
Soberly
Rocking her gently
Like I do my own children
I tell her it was never your fault
She is safe now
In yours and my arms I say,
We made it, kid