“It was a space ship,” yells Alexander. “Troy and I climbed in and met the crew. There were five of them.”
There are fourteen guests, mostly friends and their kids at Troy’s birthday party, packed into their tiny backyard. Her husband, Alexander, stands next to the grill, arguing with his best friend Jalen. Hickory smoke infused with the odor of baby back ribs fills the air. There are soy hot dogs grilling for Troy.
At last year’s birthday party, Troy washed down the baby back ribs with pools of Chianti and a trip or two to the bathroom to smoke weed. Jalen and Alexander got into such a loud shouting match that a neighbor had called the police. They went fishing together the next day. The jarring sirens impelled Troy to undertake her oft-considered vow of sobriety.
At today’s party, Jalen’s and Alexander’s argument continues. “That was the Numero Uno working, not a space ship,” shouts Jalen. “Best shit ever, wasn’t it Troy?”
Troy takes a sip of her organic apple juice and thinks; Sobriety is so hard and so over-rated. Near the fence, her daughter and Jalen’s son duel with Star War Ultimate Light Sabers.
“Alexander got a step-ladder,” Jalen continues, “and you two climbed onto your rock wall. Alexander said he’d wait there until a bird landed so he could talk to him.”
“Sure. I was smoking but I was NOT hallucinating,” bellows Alexander. “Tell him Troy.”
“Well?” asks Jalen.
Troy frowns, “Why don’t the two of you talk about something else? I’ve got to bring out the potato salad.”
Alexander says, “Come on honey. Tell him. You got into the space ship too.”
“I don’t like to remember that night,” says Troy. “I vomited three times.”
She hears her daughter shout out “I won,” as Jalen’s son falls to the ground.
“Come on sweetie,” says Alexander. “Back me up here. We both climbed into the space ship.”
“I told you, I’ve got to get the potato salad.”
“No problem,” says Jalen. “First puncture his balloon. He sat on the wall to talk to some birds and you joined him.”
“I don’t want to say,” says Troy.
“I’ll yell so loud the neighbors will come out if you don’t say,” says Alexander.
“Calm down,” says Troy. “Everyone’s listening.” She glances over and her daughter and Jalen’s son are fighting another duel.
“Tell us the truth and it will be over,” says Jalen.
“Fine,” says Troy. “I’ll tell the truth. I sat on the wall and watched an endless line of gigantic pink elephants walk by. They had silver bells on their feet and tall, slim, blue men riding on their backs.”
“No. It was a UFO,” screams Alexander.
“Tell me more about these elephants,” says Jalen.
Troy brings out the potato salad. She goes back inside to add a shot of vodka to her apple juice. The hard part is to stop at one, she thinks. Or four. Back outside, the argument continues. “Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” shouts Alexander. “I’m telling the absolute truth. We got into a space ship.”
Troy sees her daughter fall to the ground; beat in the light saber duel. Her daughter jumps up, runs over, grabs Alexander’s arm and yells, “Daddy, Daddy. Stop arguing. The food is burning.”