Haiku Blench Batch: Yellowing Toupee
Daily Callers’ “male
fashion editor” for kicks,
the Hillarious
Nixon-Trump dirty
trickster— loosey Guccifer,
CA, Assange, etc.
hacker armies of
digital warriors unleashed–
pre House Intel Comm
Rog Stone clown show on
barber tube’s changed to cartoons
for kids — no difference.
Dick tattooed on back,
agent provocateur gabs
at Russian Tea Room!
Visualise Urselfies
i. Jowls Fairy
–thanks to David Borchart cartoon, New Yorker, 14th March 2022
Permanent other end of life
from deciduous tooth fairy
something mysterious pulls
on my face as I sleep (fitfully)
just like our old house settles
with unhinged doors not closing.
Time now for carpenter and/or plastic surgeon?
ii. Hair-On-Fire Obit Writ Pre-Dead
Among our high school classmates
There are so many all-star
Listserv contributors
But once-pompadoured one picked
Spots strategically to zing rest of
Us (specially me) catholic clods
He in stark contrast to those slothful slobs
(Guess Gerardo’s numero uno?) who
Strafe-bomb words way too much:
No matter whether his arch dour diatribes
Were simply sour professionally well
Honed phony personae or truly
Represented beyond-cynical-slung honest
Calvin-Hobbesian cartoonish hard-won
World views, they surely added spice
And for that zest Ger was very grateful.
Tinker to Evans To Chance*
Dylan Thomas
to Bob Dylan
to Dylann Roof
who day after Bobby Zimmerman’s birthday’s
got the chutzpah to ask an appeals court
to reverse death sentence
conviction for his premeditated Charleston
massacre at African American church
that blew goddam roof out.
* Double-play combination from Franklin Pierce’s “Baseball’s Sad Lexicon,” 1910