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More Or Less Toonish And Other Poems

By Gerard Sarnat
haiku_bench_small (1)

Illustration by Allen B Thangkhiew

Haiku Blench Batch: Yellowing Toupee

Daily Callers’ “male

fashion editor” for kicks,

the Hillarious

Nixon-Trump dirty

trickster— loosey Guccifer,

CA, Assange, etc.

hacker armies of

digital warriors unleashed–

pre House Intel Comm

Rog Stone clown show on

barber tube’s changed to cartoons

for kids — no difference.

Dick tattooed on back,

agent provocateur gabs

at Russian Tea Room!

Visualise Urselfies

i. Jowls Fairy

–thanks to David Borchart cartoon, New Yorker, 14th March 2022

Permanent other end of life

from deciduous tooth fairy

something mysterious pulls

on my face as I sleep (fitfully)

just like our old house settles

with unhinged doors not closing.

Time now for carpenter and/or plastic surgeon?

ii. Hair-On-Fire Obit Writ Pre-Dead

Among our high school classmates

There are so many all-star

Listserv contributors

But once-pompadoured one picked

Spots strategically to zing rest of

Us (specially me) catholic clods

He in stark contrast to those slothful slobs

(Guess Gerardo’s numero uno?) who

Strafe-bomb words way too much:

No matter whether his arch dour diatribes

Were simply sour professionally well

Honed phony personae or truly

Represented beyond-cynical-slung honest

Calvin-Hobbesian cartoonish hard-won

World views, they surely added spice

And for that zest Ger was very grateful.

Tinker to Evans To Chance*

“Dylan turns eighty today—don’t you think it’s finally time you forgave him for going electric?”
[New Yorker cartoon of the week 23rd May 2021 online edition celebrating Dylan’s May 24th birthday]

Dylan Thomas

to Bob Dylan

to Dylann Roof

who day after Bobby Zimmerman’s birthday’s

got the chutzpah to ask an appeals court

to reverse death sentence

conviction for his premeditated Charleston

massacre at African American church

that blew goddam roof out.

* Double-play combination from Franklin Pierce’s “Baseball’s Sad Lexicon,” 1910


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Posted On: October 31, 2022
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