In recent weeks, our internal investigator has uncovered a new characteristic with the already problematic, COVID-19 virus.
The proof is in the facts: COVID is discriminatory and classist.
An excerpt from an interview with Dr. Right, a researcher from the local WFCE (We Fact Check Everything) Research Centre clarifies the above statement.
Dr. Right stated, “Yes, BJ, I strongly believe that the virus is as you said, discriminatory and classist. It affects everyone except ministers or high ranking officials. When these individuals want to host huge events, they send the virus away to the neighbouring states and surprisingly, it listens. However, when it comes to other people, the virus develops a sort of sixth sense and targets people gathering in a group of 10 or more people.”
With recent reports, it has become clear that the statement provided by Dr. Right is right and based on factual events. With state functions and state celebrations nearing, there is no need for the application of COVID protocols since the virus will not be targeting the people concerned. When higher ranking officials assemble, the virus tends to turn a blind eye.
Ms. Nerak, a soon-to-be 50 year old woman, is saddened by the news of not being able to celebrate her milestone birthday this year due to unfortunate reasons.
She spoke to us about her conflictions, “I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday this year. The new COVID protocols won’t allow more than 10 people to gather for any reason. But on the bright side, I won’t be idle and alone on my special day. I have been invited to attend the State holiday celebration with all the ministers and around 1,000 people will be in attendance.”
“I’m not reluctant,” she continued, “As you know, the virus won’t affect me since I’ll be in the presence of high ranking officials, but if I celebrate with my family on the same day, it might target the 12 of us.”
Personally, I think Ms. Nerak will have a swell time, as long as she gets home before 10 P.M. to avoid the virus’ working hours which happen to be 10 P.M. – 5 A.M.